After reading countless articles on the web and in quite good magazines, I came to a realisation that creating a successful blog is just the only thing that matters. For a while. Like, ten minutes, when you’re daydreaming about being a new blogstar, somebody opinionated, recognised for their intelligence and artistic flair, someone with panache, wit, and good advice. An expert, even. You keep dreaming: why not to be an Instagram star as well? There’s so many people who made their careers on Instagram! And then you decide it would be quite a nice idea to get started with a video blog, on Youtube probably, or maybe just start streaming on Twitch? You can get donations there, you know.

But that takes us to step one: you have to be successful. Your blog has to be a piece of art; not in the meaning of wonderful prose, art of speaking your mind is usuall sufficent – if there’s enough content in your mind.

I have absolutely no idea how to be successful in blogging; heck, I’m a librarian. The most successful I go is finding a curious book between some graphomaniac ramblings. And sometimes I excel in buying RuneQuest books cheaply on online auctions.

I do know that creating a blog just to become a star, a popular blogger (you guys in UK and USA have some deeply rooted problem with being popular, by the way) is just pointless. Although let’s not be hypocritical; if I wanted just to write, not be read, I wouldn’t do it online.

But all of this brings me to the main topic – one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen online couple of weeks ago. So, just go to your search engine of choice and type in “blog title generator”. And be amazed.

I’m not here to mock anyone; I’m blogging myself, and at some point in my life I’ve worked as a copyrighter, writing some blogs for my company’s clients. I’ve learned the hard way how fun it is to find a new, refreshing ways of writing about heat pumps and plastic chairs. Several times a week, for months and months. In blogging for a clientyour artistic flair means nothing; okay, it’s funny, it’s helps you to feel not like a underpaid robot, but it doesn’t show in the analytical tools.

Adwords do. Tags do. Keywords do.

Titles do.

So, thanks to sites like BlogAbout by IMPACT, Blog Title Generator by SEOpressor (I adore the name; SEO really is opressing), HubSpot’s Blog Topic Generator and a couple of different ones, I present to you a nondefinitive list of well-thought, randomly-generated, sure-to-go-viral, and success-ensuring titles that I’m probably never going to use on this blog. But, you know, they may get me some views on the blog. Feel free to borrow, anyway. They kind of remind me about Cards Against Humanity.

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Sae’s Nondefinitive List Of Important Topics That Deserve Some Consideration

  • When It Pays To Be Annoying
  • How To Improve Your Scissor Game With An Edgy Haircut
  • 5 Things That Drive Clark Kent Away
  • Why University Is More About Pokemon Than Heavy Drinking
  • Weighing The Pros And Cons Of Eating Pistachios Without A Bra
  • How To Save Yourself From Salvation
  • The Truth About Nuns On The Run Is About To Be Revealed
  • 10 Great Dungeon Ideas That You Can Share With Your Friends [18+]
  • 13 Facts About Carrot That Will Blow Your Mind
  • Everything You Need To Know Abour This Small Metal Or Plastic Thingy At The End Of A Shoelace
  • Here’s What No One Tells You About Papercuts
  • 10 Solid Evidences Why Stealing Your Boss’ Wife Is Bad For Your Career Development (But Can Be Great For Your Health!)
  • Think You’re Cut Out To Living Your Life? Take This Quiz!
  • 11 Ways To Yawn In Public
  • What Doctor Quinn Can Teach You About Lasers
  • 15 Taboos About Margarine You Should Never Share On Twitter
  • 7 Myths About Myths
  • Digging Will Make You Tons Of Cash. Here’s How!
  • One Word That Kills Your D&D Party; or How To Use And Abuse Power Word: Kill
  • Never Underestimate The Power of Random Star Wars References
  • Give Me A Minute And I’ll Give You A Receipt For Your Wasted Minute
  • You Should Experience Heartbeat At Least Once In A Lifetime And Here’s Why.
  • Why Is Everyone Talking About Dad Jokes?

Guess that’s it, folks. Now there’s nothing that can stop me from going viral. A free ebook told me so.

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